Mission Lady
Thoughts of a Missionary WifePULLING OUT MY HAIR
No, I am not literally pulling out my hair, but those of you who have been following this blog may wonder. The bad news is my hair is falling out. When I wash it, when I comb it, even when I just lightly touch it, a bunch of hair will remain in my fingers. The first few days did not worry me but now over time, the shower drain is regularly plugged with my hair and the bathroom floor littered. I am getting worried. My husband is bald and though it looks good on him, I do not particularly want to be his twin. I have no idea what has caused it. Is it linked to the high fever from dengue that I had in August? Could it possibly be middle age? Or is it the accumulated stress of missionary transition over the last year? I really do not know.
The Bible says, “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7
I know God does care about me and my hair. I also know that right now, I am keeping him particularly busy with the continuous recount!
THE LIME GREEN CAR
Just when we think we are speaking the same language as other people, something happens which reminds us that communication is not a foolproof science. Cross-cultural communication is even less certain.
Upon our arrival in this country, we were staggered by the exorbitant selling prices of vehicles, new, used and barely working! We were looking for a reliable used vehicle and a national friend told us about a Christian businessman who had one for sale. My husband telephoned him and after discussing the matter, hung up the phone somewhat perplexed. The man did sell cars, but only new ones and his cheapest model was worth several times more than the amount we had to offer.
Several weeks went by and we were still searching for a car. We had faithfully purchased the newspaper, read the ads, checked the store bulletin boards and phoned every car dealership in town and still could not find anything we could afford! During this time we had been walking everywhere or riding buses; the simplest of errands had become very time-consuming and tiring!
In desperation one day, my husband went back to talk to a man at one of the car dealerships. He had the four wheel drive used vehicle we liked but the selling price was $10,000 above the amount we had to spend. During their conversation he told my husband, “You need to call my brother-in-law, he has this same car for sale at your price.” Now that was great news except he gave us the same name and phone number that we had contacted the month before without success.
We called again and this time the questions were more precise and the answers positive. Yes, he personally had a used car for sale. Yes, he had been trying to sell it for awhile and yes, that was his asking price. He promised to bring it by after work so we could see it. We were delighted and bought it.
I still do not know what we could have said last month which would have saved us from another month of walking, but some key word was definitely missing in the initial conversation!
Missionary Transitions
No one ever said that missionary transitions were easy. This one has to be about the hardest I can remember. It has been going on for several months now and though I hope to be settled soon, I am not sure if I ever will be again.
In times like these, it is often the little comforts we enjoy the most, which are the hardest to give up. Though I grew up in a country where most women hand wash clothes in a basin, I am not very good at it. For the last 25 years, I have packed the same washing machine to several continents and been very happy to use it! Sure, I can hand wash for a time, but after a few weeks (now going on a few months), I am overwhelmed by the amount of clothes which need to be hand washed each day. Then there are just some items, like heavy blankets which I am not even sure how to wash in a bucket!
What about chairs? Until recently I took having chairs for granted; right now I do not even have one to sit on. Our family is sitting on a floor mat in an empty room eating meals. Since I live with a lower back problem, living at floor level is a physical challenge for me.
The same goes for cars, I am not fond of driving them but I sure like riding in them! After many long, hot dusty weeks of walking miles to the grocery store, to church and the round of offices for every possible rubber stamped document of the utmost importance, I am weary. Just plain tired. My shoes are worn out and I am ready to ride for awhile!
The other night I was thinking on these things while I sipped tea from a glass jar. Did I mention that we also have very minimal dishes and cooking utensils? I will be perfectly honest and say that I bought a particular brand of spaghetti sauce just so I could have the jar to make tea in. Fortunately, the spaghetti sauce was very good and when I saw it again in the store, I bought another jar of it. Now my husband and I both have our own jars for hot tea!
But I digress from my story; I was sipping tea from my spaghetti jar the other night and actually thanking the Lord for the jar. Many things were not going particularly well but I could focus on the jar and thank the Lord for it. Wouldn’t you know it, it was that very same evening we got word that money was available for us to purchase a used car! What wonderful news! I can certainly thank the Lord for the jar and now the hope of a car!
I wish I could say, that I have learned to give thanks in all things, but I haven’t yet. Many people erroneously think that missionaries have the ability to sacrifice everything with ease. Though we learn to adapt and live within a new culture and language, we cannot be totally stripped of our cultural upbringing and expectations. I still attempt to create a familiar environment in a foreign land where I can eat, sleep and experience those basic comforts which are important to me. I believe these enable me to live and serve more effectively those to whom I have come to minister.
Are you in transition today? Is it getting harder for you to relinquish those little comforts? God knows your heart. Thank him for the jar and ask him to give you patience and hope for the rest!
HOW DID WE GET HERE FROM THERE?
A few weeks after I wrote the entry above concerning the current ministry situation we found ourselves in, the Lord opened a door of ministry which has been an unexpected glimpse of the past and an incredible opportunity to be involved in changing the future of a Bible school, a church and a nation. Our mission leaders asked us to consider returning to the country of my childhood and though more prestigious positions were offered to us, we felt that this was where God wanted us.
So after being elsewhere for several decades, I find myself in a country where I grew up in as an MK (missionary kid). It is the place of my idyllic childhood. It is a place where my pioneer missionary parents worked tirelessly until my mother’s premature death. I am once again speaking the language and walking the familiar streets. The Sunday school children have grown up, married and are still serving the Lord. The young pastors are now old but still serving faithfully. Each day, I hear about another friend from the past and rejoice in what God has done during the many years that I was far away! Oh, how glad I am to be back!
It is hard to express how I feel being here after being there. How I feel being wanted, loved and accepted for myself after being pushed aside, disliked and rejected. I still have this assurance, “You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
I am praying that I will be open and listening to what God has planned for me and my family here. I know He has brought me back for a special purpose and that many will be saved. Will you pray for me too?
But God meant it for good . . .
There is a verse that has become very significant to me in the remaining days that I will spend in this country.
“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (Genesis 50:20).
When we go into missionary service we are prepared for opposition and trials but we tend to think that most of these will come from people outside of our own ministry team and church membership. I mean isn’t our main adversary supposed to be Satan himself? Unfortunately, this is not always the case and the opposition of a fellow minister, whether missionary or national, is acutely painful.
I have been walking, or I should probably say, I have been stumbling for many months after being dealt a death blow by a man, my husband and I partnered with in church leadership. He was considered a stubborn and independent individual but we had no idea that our ministry gifts and infuence would make him our adversary. He had been preaching and doing things considered Biblically unsound for quite a few years and it was a challenge to work with him. Finally, last year the denominational leadership asked him to explain his actions. My husband had already shared his concerns with him privately and certainly could not agree with many of his practices. When we agreed with the denominational leadership that their concerns were appropriate and their questions needed answers, we became the targets of much slander.
As with Joseph in the Genesis account, my family and I were pushed in to a pit by “our brother”. We had been verbally abused before but this time the intent was to permanently dispose of us. When I landed in the bottom of that pit, I had no strength to climb out. I became depressed and even angry at God at times. “Why did I have to live in this foreign country and give 10 years of my life to be so unjustly treated by a man who should not even be in church ministry?”
I know God was trying to speak to me through those dark times but I will admit that some days I was not listening. I did not want to stay in my pit of discouragement and defeat but it seemed like the only thing which was offered to me at the time.
One day I noticed a new book title, Get Out Of That Pit by Beth Moore and I ordered it. From the first pages of that book, the Lord began to work in my heart and I was lifted out of that pit before I even finished the book. I cannot say that everything is perfect. My family continues to be the target of this man’s revengeful spirit but I refuse to be thrown back in that pit!
Our mission agency has now officially severed it’s partnership with this man and the group he leads because of his abusive use of spiritual authority and unresolved doctrinal issues. All our denominational missionaries are being pulled from this country. We do not know yet where God is going to lead us but I do have this assurance that though “you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
Have you felt the pain of missionary service? Do not despair! The story of Joseph can be a word of encouragement to you too. Though his problems did not end when he got out of the pit, God had a greater plan and Joseph’s enemies could not thwart what God would ultimately do through him. God was faithful to Joseph and through him many were saved.
Recommended reading :
Get Out Of That Pit by Beth Moore
The story of Joseph – Genesis 37-50
Psalm 16
Do you have another favorite book or Bible passage to recommend?
